Its 1248 AM and I am an absolute wreck, I ended up giving in and taking my meds in hopes that I would get some sleep tonight, which sucks because its been since saturday that I had taken anything, so almost a week. but whatever, I have to be up for the day at 7 AM to take care of my kids all day tomorrow, D wont be here at all, so the 12 hours is all mine...
I am anxious.. I am having a hard time and he had to leave for about 30 minutes, which to me seems like an entire eternity :( When he gets home he has to go to sleep ...
Im just a wreck, after my amazing day yesterday I was sure things would be semi back to freaking normal, but instead I have the worst day Ive had in awhile , amazing how this stupid disorder works, I am angry for not being able to control it and not being able to control myself... its not going to get me anywhere but for now its helping...
It all started because the right side of my face feels numb, I am not sure why it has such a strange feeling it in, I know its nothing, its nothing, its nothing..its nothing, I am fine its nothing, I am okay, its nothing... ahh its not working but wishful thinking right?? I could really use a hug...
Its a terrible thing having no control over the way you think and feel.. and to have everyone around you tell you its not that hard, or whats the big deal just relax, I wish sometimes they just understood, that for me....it really isnt just that cut and dry... that if I could relax, than my problems would be gone... ohwell..poor me tonight sorry ;)
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