The posting time is off on here and I am not sure why...
I am about a stage 2 anxious, So I didnt make it through the day like my previous post states I ha d, I guess I should never count my chickens before they hatch. in about 1.5 hrs, SO will be home, thank god, but right now that seems like an eternity I really dont want to take anymore medication, So I am trying to talk myself through it, so far its not really working... I am starting to sweat and get my symptoms that its going to progress.. :( I just want it to stop, I want my mind to be able to stop it right here, and let it NOT go any further. Ahhh.. I would love to find some other blogs like mine and read success stories it would be nice to know that this is possible to overcome, I am sorry this is scattered , I am only writing what is in my head, and its jumping around and racing as well , its coming out as I am thinking it.... :( They say the average attack lasts 10 minutes , I am not sure if that means full blow attack or symptoms because my symptoms can last hours and hours :( :( I pray to god every time I get like this, ( I pray other times as well) they say he wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle, or what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,I don't think I believe that.. I think you learn to handle what you are given and what doesnt kill you in time MIGHT make you stronger, but its been 10 years and this has never made me stronger of a person, I am not sure ifs even made me a better or more compassionate person.... I am stuck inside my own mind right now, and all I want is for him to come home and tell me I will be okay, he is going to be gone for 16 hours tomorrow, I am not sure how I will get through it, I know I will because I HAVE to.... Alright enough ramblings from my head.... I am down to stage 1, so writing here helped, I hit stage 3 right before I started this, so it seems to have helped to write or type it all out... I am going to try clean and occupy the rest of the night....
oh and I am trying sleepytime tea tonight in hopes that its an herbal way to help me fall asleep !!!
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