Ahhh What a wonderful feeling it is, I've always known that I wasnt alone in my suffering that others out there had exactly what I had and some worse some not. A friend showed me a website with all kinds of forums one, being anxiety, I love to read and write to people on there. I am very thankful that I have found these people...
I am really working on writing my story of how this all started, it is really hard for me to go back to those 2 days and recall it all without triggering an attack, I have part of it drafted but it is unfinished. When it gets too much I save it and stop and go back to it later...
I can tell you I have what I think they call Medical and Death Anxiety, I fear I am going to die or something is going to happen to, almost every second of the day and seeing people dying or sick makes it super hard, I cannot watch TV shows like greys, House, ER, nothing like that, because it scares me, even some hospital scenes on shows I do watch I have to fast forward through, some people wonder how I made it through having 3 children.. and 9 major surgeries.. I have no idea, I know that I've survived them all and I wish that were enough to ease my fear ... but its not... Its really hard to fear something you cant face or even avoid.
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