Its hard to believe that 1 year ago today I hosted thanksgiving without a hitch went out at 4 AM to target to shop for black Friday.. stood in like for 3 hours total... I did get anxious but was able to stay....and here I am now, not hosting this year, and having to go somewhere and terrified to be in a house with a lot of people and away from home, I am really debating taking meds for this day, only because I want to enjoy it and not be anxious the entire time, I haven't taken meds, in 3 weeks... Sigh.. No clue what to do.
I am going to my brothers house, I actually asked not to host this year and I am glad in a sense I did, D is working doubles and I don't have time to prepare everything or clean my house to get ready...but still there will be my brothers girlfriends family as well, makes for a lot of people, I had trouble at our football party with a lot of people and I was home.. I am just scared , I will have my safe person, so I shouldn't be... I am condemning myself to failure before I've even tried !!
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