What an emotional stressful day its been.... I am not sure that my anxiety had time to come through with all the anger I've felt today... I guess I get tired of being all things to all people,and when it comes to me, I feel that I don't even deserve the slightest of considerations. It all came to a head today and I lost it,maybe on the wrong person and or people, but non the less justified. I am that type of person that holds it in, very unhealthy, but then I reach a point where I've held it in so long that I explode on the nearest person,or in this case people, and then you realize that you've burned bridges that you wished you hadn't.
I surely cannot handle more on my plate than I have now, I am tired of being the person that takes care of everything, and I do mean everything, I worry about everything , so no one else has to, but I am only human , I can only handle so much before I snap... I swear I've cried a good part of the day, screamed through some of it was angry through all of it... I need a break from it all, just to collect my thoughts and be ME again, I get so lost in taking care of everyone else and being all things to all people, that I forget who I am.. I think its my main issue right now, I've lost myself, I mean who am I, I am a girlfriend , I am a mother , I am a daughter a Sister, a friend.. but beyond that, who am I to myself? I haven't a clue anymore.
I am sitting here writing this and I forgot about a commitment I had made last night...I didn't attend and it totally slipped my mind, it was something I was looking forward to , and now of course I am overly bummed about that....Ahh 2011 will be a better year it has to be!
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