Oh man, what a week, what a weekend, what a year for that matter. Failure, its one thing to let myself down, but to have to let everyone else down and have to explain it, I think thats the hardest part of it all,or having someone not be as supportive as I'd like when I do fail.. It's hard and makes me feel even less hopeless and even more like I can't do it anymore.... I want to get better I do, but it seems like such a small issue in the grand scheme of things, I mean sure my panic disorder sucks, in fact its the hardest thing I've ever been through in both childhood and my adult life, but really in the bigger picture it seems so unimportant.. There are some things that just matter more like family and friends, and love..and I wish that were enough of a realization to overcome it all, not just panic disorder but all lifes hardships, I know in the end everything always works out the way it should, but why does the road there have to be so bumpy, some say it helps you appreciate the good times more, I don't believe that , I believe good times as just as good with a smooth journey there. I just pray for the strength and patience to get through this hard time, and maybe for the support and understanding of those I love...
Babies are awake from nap..
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