.........

This post lacks a title, because I cannot come up with one that fits, its been a few days since ive posted. I did end up going to the grocery store alone and did well, I also then went to my sons soccer game and did not take my medicine and did fine.. I went bowling that night and kind of started to freak out when I saw all the cars in the parking lot.. I was anxious for a bit,but in the end all was well...

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night very anxious, anxious as I've been in awhile, I was on the verge of a panic attack. Before bed we watched this show on T.V and one of the characters ends up with a brain tumor and needs surgery... this freaks me out, I am sure there is an underlying issue as of why, not just that I have medical anxiety, well I had a dream at night about it and woke up anxious.. it was terrible.. Night time is always worse for me as it is... I got over it and went back to bed , I will leave the gross details out :)

Lately I've been very depressed...Everyone wants to know how its possible to feel so alone surrounded by so many people? I have no idea, but I have never felt so alone, so isolated, so disconnected, its taking a toll on my personal relationships for sure.. I feel somehow I've felt this way for awhile but the anxiety and or depression is making it worse, like I've always felt alone and unappreciated, but its like its under a magnifying glass now ... a small problem has become a much larger one, and I have no clue how to solve or even approach any of it..What I do know is that if I or the people I love don't come to a conclusion soon its going to end very badly.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful weekend... I usually dislike Mondays, today...I kind of welcome D going back to work...sad right?