New Fears....

It seems that after 10 years of anxiety, going on 11, my fears have almost shifted into new fears. The old ones are still there, and they still make me anxious, but this NEW found fear that I've had for the last year, seems more prevalent than my old fear! My new fear, of an allergic reaction, yes and of course that would mean death, because what else would it mean?? Shessh!!! You always hear these horror stories about allergic reactions and  I am sure that its going to happen to me, or even my kids!!! All the sudden trying new foods or even eating foods prepared by other people in an envoirment where there might be something I am allergic to, brings on the anxiety... oh and for the record, I have no allergies that I've noticed in my 26 years of life, I can tell you right now how irrational this fear is, I know that, why can't I convince myself of that in times of extreme fear and panic? I know that I have no allergies( at least that I know of) and in 26 years I've been exposed to a lot of things and I've never gone into shock, and never had to call 911. I do however have sensitive skin, and sometimes I will get a rash, and I am certain that means death, AND IT EVEN MEANT MY FIRST ER visit, that was not pregnancy related in probably 6 or 7 years :(


Take me back to yesterday when C1 got stung by a bee, his very first bee sting ever, of course I have no idea if hes allergic, so I start to panic, I have no idea what to do, or what I will do if he starts to react, all I know is, my mind has already started to react like something had happened , when nothing had. I am here to say that he is not allergic to bees and I was able to calm myself down ( hours later) without medication, I avoid it at all costs while at home in a safe environment!  Today my skin is itchy, who the hell knows why, maybe its  natures sick joke, make its anxietys sick joke, all I know is, I just want it to go away... I mean everyone itches sometimes, and it surely doesnt have to mean I am dying or reacting to something... My mind is sure a crazy place to be sometimes... ( ok most of time ;) )  I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday!!!