1 Year later

Hi Everyone, I know its been awhile, its been a long while, my life is pretty much unchanged since last time I wrote.. Some things are different, I did recently see a therapist and psychiatrist, I really should go to therapy regularly. I just cannot seem to keep appointments, of any kind. Maybe thats irresponsible, maybe its just plain lazy...either way I am no good at it... The Dr. started me on a new medicine called Ativan, and I take it as needed, 1 MG, so after 10 years of the same as needed medicine, I am on a new path! It is very helpful.. I can say while I am always anxious , I rarely have attacks, and my agoraphobia, while not completely conquered, I am doing at least 100x better than where I was last year. I managed Disney, medicated the ride down and I think one day while we were there, otherwise, it was amazing!!! Also road tripped 10 hours to NC, and no attacks. I am so thankful for the progress I have made.. Its been amazing to enjoy life again... The anxiety and panic are still there, they will always be there, but  I feel like I have taken my life partially back from their horrible disorder!! Healing or beginning to heal is an amazing feeling... I have Panic Disorder, and I am always anxious normally but I won't let it control me.  I am determined to live the life I have, and to stop worrying about when I won't be here anymore, because the truth is, I am here NOW, after death happens.. after my fear does happen, there is no more.. this is all I've been given  and if I don't choose to take control then it would have been a waste, and I don't want to look back at that, I want looking back to be filled with laughter and happiness, so that's what I plan to do, fill my life with great times and great people...!!!