Hiatus

Guess I've sort of been on one!!!  Things got really bad for me there for awhile, I didnt want to get out of bed, I didnt want to shower or go anywhere, clean my house cook for my kids, I guess sometimes I would force myself to write on here, but I really had just given up on myself completely. That was until this weekend , if you remember I hadn't left the house alone in almost 2 weeks( since the last attack) Saturday we had plans with some friends an hour away..eeek.. Then our friends asked to ride with us, DOUBLE EEK!!! I did take a pill, I mean whatever makes it bearable right, I am glad that I did very glad that I did, because I enjoyed my entire night, panic free... Pills are not the answer all the time, but they sure were for me on Saturday night...  I also managed to find the courage to go back to the grocery store with P.J on Saturday during the day, not medicated of course since its so close ... I showered did my hair and slapped on some make up and felt so much better about myself... I wish I could say I was cured, for a quick moment in time I thought I was, I woke up anxious in the middle of the night last night, also while doing dishes I was anxious about the 10000 ft of snow we have.... there is a lot of snow out there, 12-18 inches by morning!!!!

I really just am not sure what to do about the anxiety anymore, part of me thinks that in time it will pass, I think thats the lazy part of me not wanting to work at it to get better , not wanting to face the issues and get over them just waiting for a good couple of years like I've had in the past, which is going to solve nothing in time...it won't be helpful to me or to my family...

These next 3 weeks for me are a whirlwind of christmas get togethers birthdays and  activities with the kids, I will get through it, I always have and always will !!! I must say I get a little more terrified about disney each day!!!!!!